Do Kangaroos really exist or is it all a conspiracy theory?

An office discussion, sparked off by a chance encounter with a packet of Kangaroo Jerky leads to speculation that kangaroos are just too improbable to be real. Could they be made up?

A colleague somehow came by a packet of Kangaroo Jerky, made from ‘meat … derived from animals that received postmortem veterinary inspection and were found sound and healthy in every way.’ Being too squeamish to eat it himself he sent round an email asking if anyone else would.

I leap at the opportunity (boom boom), and find myself the proud owner of the teriyaki-flavoured meat snack, a product of Dong Phat Jerky and Small Goods of Chipping Norton, New South Wales.

It turns out to be not quite as delicious as I was anticipating, and no one else is willing to try it. In desperation I ask a vegetarian and then venture that Kangaroos aren’t even a real animal in order to allay his fears. Maybe principles or standards more than fears actually.

Anyway, no additional Kangaroo Jerky is consumed, but we do manage to have a stimulating discussion about what it would take to create a plausible conspiracy theory about kangaroos not existing.

‘What about zoos and stuff? People can see them hopping around.’

‘It’s just men in suits. That’s why they’re so upright. Other animals aren’t like that and that’s the reason.’

‘We could finish our explanation with them all revealing themselves.’

‘Yeah, it would be like the end of an episode of Scooby Doo.’

‘Are kangaroos even animals anyway? They’re marsupials. ‘That means they lay eggs and incubate them in a pouch.’

‘They’re a bit like fish the?. So pescetarians could eat them.’

‘Hmmm, maybe that’s just the duck-billed platypus though, come to think of it.’

‘It’s just called the platypus now. There’s only one species.’


‘No one’s going to buy this are they ….’


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